Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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