I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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