And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
