no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
