So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
