Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When are your genitals available?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
