If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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