Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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