apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
