Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
