I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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