margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
