I looked at my own cervix.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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