I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
