What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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