Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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