You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
