we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
