why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
