You were right. It hurts to walk today.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
