apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
