i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
