Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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