so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
