woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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