Too much gin, very little bucket
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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