Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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