The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
