just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
