All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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