How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
