Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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