I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
