Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
