I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
