I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize