I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize