just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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