not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize