so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize