On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
