I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
only you would photoshop your dick
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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