yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
