she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just had sex on a roof
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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