And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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