I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
People with herpes should wear stickers.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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