Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
