Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Enjoy the penises
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
