The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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