I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
