Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
there is glitter all over my balls
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