Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
