i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
