that's an acceptable place to lick
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
how do you play pong handcuffed?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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