i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
