she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
