He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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