the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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