Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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