we have officially lost it.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize