when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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