I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
