You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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