All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I need water and some morals
tell me about the eggs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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